Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Unlikely Benefits of the 'Twilight' Plague

In the not-so-distant past, young males like myself led charmed existences wherein we were entitled exclusively to the mantle of immaturity. As our allegedly more “mature” female counterparts incessantly berated us, we nevertheless continued to indulge in the numerous tokens of our extended childhood. Comic books, video games, the occasional kung fu movie marathon- all have been repeatedly held up as proof of the intellectual inferiority of the male species, evidence of our inability to “think deeply” or be “intellectual.” Dudettes are all too eager to remind us dudes that they “reach adulthood” faster than us, and the line is repeated endlessly, starting in grade school. Those of us blessed with sisters have had our doubts as to the veracity of this claim, but not until the unmitigated success of Stephanie Meyer’s ‘Twilight’ series have we had enough proof to make our case. Having never read her books- and not possessing the faintest desire to do so- I can only speak of my mercifully limited experience with Summit Entertainment’s film franchise.

To state my reaction with specificity: ‘Twilight’ is twaddle. Malarkey. Tomfoolery. An inept attempt to revitalize the familiar teen romance blueprint by adding superficial genre elements to the same old, boring formula.

And, dare I say, the story just seemed so… shallow. Barren, even. After forcing myself at great pain to view a considerable portion of the series’ second installment on my university’s free movie channel, all I could ask myself was “Is that it?” Not only did I feel that I had just sat through a Lifetime Channel movie with an inflated budget, but I was also particularly struck by the total lack of... well… themes? Character development? ANYTHING? As someone who has spent more time watching horror/action-themed movies than I care to admit, it doesn’t bode well for a genre movie when the strongest entertainment factor is a supporting role played by Michael Sheen- the entertainment factor of which is quickly depleted as the viewer realizes “Yeah… I WOULD rather be watching ‘Underworld’ right now!” Sure, ‘Underworld’ had a cheap love story too, but the romantic elements were really just an excuse for getting vampires and werewolves tear each other apart. In ‘Twilight’, by contrast, the supernatural element is a blatant excuse for subjecting viewers to another corny teen melodrama.

But as I thought about it (not too much, mind you), there are at least a FEW elements to ‘Twilight’s’ success that we ought to find agreeable, if not commendable. Stephanie Meyer apparently knows something about what girls like to see in a guy- in a word, chivalry. Feminists just HATE that word. And when feminists hate something, I feel obliged to give it a chance. The character of Edward- played by some-guy-whose-name-I-can’t-remember-but-is now-universally-hated-by-heterosexual-males- possesses a mishmash of social attitudes that, quite frankly, young men are not taught by their society anymore.

In short, Edward 1.) wants what is best for the girl he loves, and thus resists converting her to the undead; 2.) Refuses to have intercourse before they have been bound in marriage; And 3.) he tirelessly works to PROTECT her from a hostile world. For a story with such a thoroughly bizarre plot, ‘Twilight’ is replete with underlying traditional messages like these, and if it weren’t for the intellectual arrogance of feminists in academia, they’d probably be more concerned with the number of women who seem naturally inclined towards such an archetype.
Another positive consequence of this mediocre franchise is the continued success of the production company Summit Entertainment, whose present standing in Hollywood has been built almost exclusively on the ‘Twilight’ series, and who are now looking towards aggressive expansion. What’s next for them, you ask? Why, an adaptation of ‘The Homelanders’ series by author and former movie scribe Andrew Klavan.

Lately quite active as a conservative blogger and youtuber, his unabashed love for America and Christianity got him kicked out of the Hollywood cool kids’ club years ago, and with Summit Entertainment facilitating a new film franchise based on his young adult thrillers, his ticket back to screenwriting may be forthcoming. Who knows, Summit Entertainment might well intend to use the flood of ‘Twilight’ revenue to fund a rebirth of value-centric films in Hollywood- hopefully, some that will raise the bar for the studio. Personally, I’m far too jaded to expect that much from ANYONE in Hollywood.

But I've got my fingers crossed.

*UPDATE* Check out this great blog by BigHollywood's John Nolte: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjmnolte/2010/07/10/the-twilight-phenomenon-the-kids-are-all-right/

"Trust me, no one’s benefited more from left-wing feminism than those shallow, sexist men who use, abuse, objectify and discard women like empty beer cans." - John Nolte, Big Hollywood

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